Nov 04 2010

Dating tips for gay men; how to find a partner

Category: Dating Tipsadmin @ 10:33 pm

Whether you’re newly out of the closet or have been out forever, finding a date is hard for everyone. Gay culture tends to iconize those with confidence above all else, but if you’re having trouble tapping into your self-esteem, finding a date can be hard. The following are some basic dating tips to help you get started.

Dating tip number one; fake it till you make it. Like I said above, confidence is everything. No matter whom you are or what you look like, everyone finds a confident man sexy. You’ve already gotten over the hardest part by accepting yourself and coming out, but a lot of people (gay and straight) have self confidence issues. If you don’t feel like you’re all that; fake it! Enter a bar like you own the place, order drinks like you deserve them, approach people with positive thoughts in mind. By exuding an air of confidence, it will soon come back around, and you will begin to feel more confident in yourself.

Some people claim to have ‘gay-dar’, the ability to pick gay men out of a crowd. But for those who don’t, approaching a man can be extra terrifying when you don’t even know if the guy swings that way. Dating tip number two says, try yourself out at places with openly gay men first. Search for gay bars and clubs in your local area and make an effort to become a regular. You don’t always have to pick up; being in the culture will help you feel more at home. If that’s not your scene, try going to gay support meetings or book clubs to meet people.

Gay men are stereotyped as people who bounce from one partner to another, and that may be the case for some people. If you want to explore your sexuality, follow the next couple of dating tips. First, don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do. In some gay meeting spots it’s seen as a given that no one will go home alone. If that’s not your thing, then you should think about finding somewhere else to meet a date. If you do want to try new things, find a partner who understands and who will stop when you want them to and will go no further. The second tip in this section is about protection; for both your heart and your body. Falling in love with the first person with whom you have sex can end in heart break and uncomfortableness. If you think sex is something that should only be shared towards people who know and love each other, make sure your partner feels the same way. For bodily protection, make sure both of you are wearing prophylactics, and are clean wherever you will be touching. If you don’t know the other person’s sexual history, don’t be afraid to ask. If they are elusive, they might be hiding something.

The most important thing about dating is to remember to have fun. If you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s not worth it.

 

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Nov 02 2010

Dating tips for gay women: and you thought coming out of the closet was hard!

Category: Dating Tipsadmin @ 7:52 pm

Once you’re out of the closet and okay with your own sexuality, the hard part begins; finding friends. Even if you’re not looking specifically for a date, finding like minded individuals will help you come to terms with your own sexuality and help move you forward to the next stage of your lesbian life.

The first dating tip for gay women is to find other gay women. Do a quick online search for ‘gar bar’ and your local area, and no matter how conservative you thought your neighbourhood was, chances are there’ll be one or two within driving distance. Pick a night of the week and take the plunge. If you’re too nervous to go by yourself, take a straight friend with you so they can be your wing woman. This will make you feel at ease, and might also help if your friend is uncomfortable about your sexuality.

If your friends have come to terms with your sexuality, they can be a great resource in hooking you up. They might know someone at work who is a lesbian, or pass a gay support centre on their way to school. If you already know people who are gay, they can look around their friends and see who might have the most common with you.

Another great dating tip is to find women who have similar interests as you, like in a gay book club. Search online, or ask at a book store that you know sells homosexual literature. If you’re an avid reader, this is the perfect place to meet someone who has interests similar to yours. If you’re more adventurous, go to your local sports club and ask about gay teams. You don’t have to be a good player to join in and have some fun, and most importantly, meet new people.

Once you’ve found someone you like, the next dating tip is to make the move. For people who are new to their sexuality, flirting with someone of their own gender can be quite a scary thought. Remember to take it easy and relax, people can tell when you’re nervous it might be taken the wrong way; she might think you don’t like her when you really do. Flirting is the same across all sexual borders. When you’re out with friends, pay special attention to her. Look directly in her eyes when she speaks, and even offer to buy her a drink. 
If you’re not sure if she feels the same, start off with slow flirting. Sit next to her and make your legs touch, or touch her hand gently when she talks. If she backs off or looks uncomfortable, take the hint and don’t push it further; you may end up losing a friend. If she takes the bait, ask her out for dinner and a movie. The classics aren’t just for the straight couples.

Keep these dating tips in mind the next time you go out. Who knows, they might help you find the love of your life.

 

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